Fundvogel

At last the youth was finished. There was not much left over.

He pulled himself together, said quickly; “I have spoken with your father today, very seriously about you and me, about the two of us.”

She didn’t answer.

“Gwinnie, didn’t you hear?” He cried. “Would you put that dumb photo away!”

“The way she walks,” thought Gwinnie, “and her figure.”

“She is as tall as you Tex.” She whispered.

“As far as I’m concerned, she can be two heads taller,” he cried. “Haven’t you been listening-“

She looked up, “Yes, I heard.” She sighed. “You’ve spoken with father, about you and me, very seriously.”

“Yes,” he nodded. “Very openly, eye to eye, like one man to another.”

“So,” she expounded. “Like one man to another. That must have been very boring. Give me the small mirror, Texie.”

“Gwendolin,” he attempted. “I would like to ask you some-“

She cut him off in mid-sentence. “Give me the mirror, Tex, can’t you hear?”

He handed her the mirror; she painted her cheeks again.

“Tell me truthfully, do you find me attractive? Nothing out of place?”

He got up off the bed, clicked his tongue impatiently. “Tsa, of course you are very attractive.”

“What’s out of place?” She persisted. “I want to know what you think is out of place, nothing?”

“Well yes,” he cried valiantly. “You have all sorts of things out of place. You are much too thin, Gwendolin. The bones in your neck are showing. Your arms- too skinny. You must eat more. No one can gain weight by eating ice, and the thumb sucking is just not right.

Then there are your breasts and your-behind-“

“The things you say,” she laughed. Well then, have you been paying attention to these things? What should I do about them?”

“Naturally,” he stressed. “You need to take up swimming. It would be perfect.”

“Maybe you are right,” she gave in. “What else?”

He began, hesitated, “I can’t say enough about putting on some weight. Your breasts, you know they should be a good handful, not yours, mine, perhaps just a bit larger. And your behind, just a little more like this-“

He moved both arms in the air describing a curve.

She took it all in very seriously. “You might just be right,” she concluded. “I will think about it. Andrea is certainly much fuller.”

She put the mirror down and picked up the small photo again.

“You see,” he said triumphantly. “Take her as your example!”

Then he continued. “So, I spoke with your father eye to eye and he is in complete agreement. To him it’s right, proper, even better.”

She didn’t look up from the photo.

“What’s alright with him?” She asked inattentively.

“If we got married!” He cried. “We have his blessing. Will you marry me? Consider and make your decision. Please decide- please say so, dearest Gwendolin. I want it very much and your father wants it even more. It would make him very happy if you would. He even said that, in words. Do this for him. He really deserves it, and he is the only father you have!”

“Yes,” she sighed. “I haven’t thought about that. I’ve always believed that I had a dozen.”

Tex furrowed his brow.

“You always make fun of me,” he cried indignantly. “You know very well what I mean. Please say ‘Yes’!”

“Don’t you think I should put on some more weight first?” She evaded.

“No,” he decided. “That is not important at all. I was only teasing you.”

“Yes, and then you want me to take you seriously? You know Tex, I just couldn’t endure it.”

“Dear Lord Jesus,” he cried. “Get past this ticklish stuff! Let me touch you a little just once. You should see how quickly you will get used to it!”

“What do you mean, Texie?” She answered. “You don’t like that I eat ice and say ‘Alas’ all the time.”

He cried very desperately, “It doesn’t matter to me if day and night all you do is sigh ‘Alas’, eat ice cubes and suck your thumb! Say ‘Yes’ Gwendolin. You have told me yourself that of all the fellows, I am your favorite.”

She nodded, “That you are Texie, really, that you are. Especially because you are so dumb, that’s why I like you. And you have no idea how terribly silly you can be. I will promise you this. If I ever marry a man, his name will be Tex Durham.”

“Good,” he cried. “Good! Now just tell me when-“

“Never, Tex!” She interrupted him firmly. “I’ve had enough of all this dumb foolishness! You are never to speak of this to me again unless I give you permission. Do you hear me, never again, not a word? I hope we are very clear about this and that you understand me correctly.”

He didn’t understand anything. He timidly lowered his head and whispered, “Yes, whatever you want Gwendolin.”

She touched his hands lightly, almost tenderly. “It’s alright, my boy. Now you can go.”

He obeyed instantly and stood up to go.

“Wait a minute, Tex,” she hesitated. “You can make a phone call for me. Dial —“ She considered, then continued. “Dial SPRING 6688. Ask for Miss Woyland. Tell her-tell her that you have seen her picture and find her very attractive-“

“But I don’t find her attractive at all-“ he turned back toward her.

“Do what I say,” she cried.

He obeyed, picked up the receiver and dialed the number. A man’s voice answered him, he asked for Miss Woyland.

“What?” He cried. “You say she is not there? Is gone?”

Gwinnie flew up, ripped the receiver out of his hand, “This is Gwinnie Briscoe,” she cried into it very much agitated.

“Andrea-Miss Woyland is gone? When? Where did she go? Oh, thank you very much,” she whispered, then, “The Plaza, thank you very much, thak you!”

She let the receiver fall, sank back into the pillows. The burning pain attacked her belly again and she doubled up in agony.

Durham fished the last piece of ice out of the bowl and pushed it into her mouth. She slowly relaxed.

“Are you better?” He asked.

She nodded, looked around the room searching for something.

“Where are your flowers?” She demanded. “Bring them here!”

He got them and held them in front of her.

She didn’t take them. “Orchids,” she breathed them. “I don’t like them. Maybe Andrea will like them?”

She raised her voice, continued, “You must go to the Plaza and deliver these flowers to Miss Woyland.”

“But Gwendolin,” he attempted. “I brought these for you-“

She shook her head.

“Oh, Tex, Tex!” She cried in exasperation. “Must you always argue? Can’t you ever just do what I tell you?”

He nodded, then turned to go. As he was leaving the door she called after him, “Let the nurse know there is no more ice, ‘Alas’.”

She lay still on the bed, like a sweet thing of painted ivory. Slowly her left hand crept off the covers; she lightly put her thumb between her red lips.